Hello everyone. Its been a long time since I have written anything. Today I am doing something a little bit different. I am going to share what has been happening and how it has been for me. Right now it has been little over a year that my wife Susan has stopped treatments for the cancer that is trying to take over her. Pain management is the current path she is on. Over the course of this last year it has slowly gotten worse. There are good days and bad ones for her. Many times I have held her tight just to let her cry into my shoulder. We have shared moments of laughter. We do share much more time together .Some of our conversations are more honest. That is good because I am not the best at communicating. Exposing my failures and short comings is hard. Receiving her thoughts and advice seemed like criticism. Now I do my best to receive in love and as a way to help me and her.

As we have been on this journey we have and do pray for her healing. Sometime wondering if her healing will come or not. Then during the hospital stay our son-in-law mentioned that it is a miracle that she has no side effects from the stroke. Nothing visible we can notice. This opened a thought in me. We may not know Gods plan so I should be thankful for all the signs and miracles that have happened. Be thankful That I have today with Her. Pray for her healing and be thankful for the answers He has given us. I know He hears our prayers. So, I have added be glorified and your name lifted up on high. If I dwell on her healing not happening as I expect it to be I will get depressed. Wondering if I am praying well, or praying with the proper intent or am I believing enough.

One of the most frustrating things is that I can’t fix it. Its that Guy thing. I’m used to taking care of things that need fixing. Also, this is not one of those things covered in pre-marital counseling. Or even in that “guy’s book” that really doesn’t exist. Reading my bible, praying and keeping a journal have helped. I’m not as bad as I was before. Being honest with myself was a good first place to start. And as I have shared with Susan is that I take the vows we said to each other seriously. That I’m not going anywhere and will be by her side all the way.

Thanks for letting my share. This has been helpful. If you want to comment or leave a thought, send them to me on a text or email. I have disabled the comments on this web site. Or just call, and/or talk to me in person.

Be blessed, Ken